Stranger To Love
by emeraldeyesfilledwithfear
Summary: Kensi is back home, and Deeks is having trouble getting her to let him in.


It's been four months. Sixteen weeks without seeing her mismatched eyes, brown locks, and her breathtaking smile. Thanks to Hetty, he's been able to hear her voice once a week. Deeks can tell something is different. Each week her voice becomes more and more exhausted, the phone calls are shorter, she has less to say. The ones who say it gets better with time are both right and wrong. Eventually it's bearable, but the feeling that knowing the one you love is thousands of miles away and is in danger sticks with you always.

Today was a slow day, full of paperwork and the occasional bickering of Sam and Callen. The building was close to empty, all that was left was the trio and Hetty of course. "Hey Deeks, you up for some beers tonight? Callen is paying." Sam said with a mischevious smile. "Oh really? I'm paying? I'm preeeettty sure it's Deeks' turn." Callen fired back.

"Sorry boys,' Deeks said through his bag over his shoulders. 'I gotta hot date." Callen raised one eyebrow, "Does Kensi know about this?"

His heart skipped a couple beats with her name being mentioned. Deeks opened his mouth to reply but Sam beat him to it. "I don't think Kens has to worry about Monty stealing her place." Sam winked towards the detective. "What can I say? Sometimes you just need to drink a few beers and watch a movie with man's best friend." Deeks chuckled.

"Your loss, I'll see you Monday." Callen said backing out of the bullpen. "You good Deeks?" Sam asked retreating from his desk. "Yeah..I'm good." He gave him a small smile. "Goodnight." Sam called. "Night!" Deeks replied.

* * *

It was the same drive he took everyday after work. It wasn't completely out of his way, and even if it was, he still would of came. He drives by to make sure everything is fine, he's only went inside her house three times, but it became to painful. It was just a reminder that she wasn't home.

But this particular night, something was different. Deeks drove by and noticed that the light was on, it streamed through the blinds, he pulled over farther up the street and traveled on foot back towards Kensi's house. When he reached the front door, Deeks lightly twisted the knob and realized it was unlocked.

Quietly he peered into the cluttered house. Deeks' hands gripped his gun as he made his way through the rooms. He noticed the door to Kensi's bedroom was slightly ajarred. Deeks pushed it opened and was face to face with a gun to his head. "FEDERAL AGENT!" Deeks and the brunette yelled at the same time. Their positions were mirrored, both had guns pointed to each other.

Deeks was first to lower his, "Kensi?" He was almost a 100% sure this was a dream. Kensi did the same, "Deeks! What the hell are you doing here?"

To say he was shocked by her response was an understatement. "I drive by every night to check up on the place, I noticed the light was on." He answered slowly, backing away at the same timed. Deeks' eyes scaled up and down her body. She was much thinner, her hair was longer, but what stood out the most was the dark circles under her eyes. Kensi noticed his actions, and instantly became selfconcious, she wrapped her arms around her waist.

Deeks held himself back from wrapping her up in his arms, as he took a step forward, she took one back. "When'd you get in?" She looked everywhere but at him, "Two o' clock this morning." Deeks was hurt that she didn't call him, "Oh."

"I would of called but-" Kensi began. Deeks shook his head, "Yeah I know.." But he honestly didn't.

Why wouldn't she call him? They left off on a good note, and when they talked everything seemed normal between the duo.

"So are you um- hungry? We could go get something or I could just pick something up and bring it back here?" He offered. Deeks hadn't seen her in months, there was no way he was letting her out of his sight.

"No thanks I'm fine." Kensi answered.

Deeks raised an eyebrow at the word 'fine'. It was only used, when it wasn't true. Awkward silence filled the room.

Kensi leaned back from foot to foot. Deeks took another step towards her and reached out for her hand, once he grabbed it, Deeks could feel her flinch under his touch, but still he pulled her towards him. He couldn't take it anymore, it has been weeks since he's felt her lips on his. Deeks leaned down but Kensi turned her head away from him. Deeks was confused, maybe he caught the wrong idea when they talked about figuring out their 'thing'. He took a step back but didn't move his hand. "What is it Kens?"

Kensi pulled her hand out of his grip. "I think you should go Deeks." She announced, passing him on her way to the middle of the living room, towards the front door.

"We haven't seen each other in months, what'd I do to make you pissed off at me?" Deeks joked but Kensi kept her head down and opened the door for him.

Deeks stayed put in the middle of the living room. "I'm not leaving." Kensi glared at him, "Excuse me?"

"I mean it Kensi, I'm not leaving until you tell me what's going on." Deeks' voice was stern.

Kensi charged up to him, "No. You are leaving."

"Make me."

"What are you five Deeks? Seriously get out before I shoot you." Kensi shouted throwing her hands up in the air.

"Go for it." Deeks shrugged putting his hands in his pockets. Kensi continued to stare at him. "Come on Kens, let me help you." Deeks pleaded.

"I can take care of myself, I have been since I was 15. I don't need any help now." Kensi snapped. Deeks rolled his eyes, God she was so stubborned.

"Don't you get it? You don't have too!" Deeks words came out harsher then he attended, it even through Kensi off guard.

"Go home."

"I'm not leaving." Deeks let out a hollow chuckle as he sat on Kensi's couch. She slammed the front door shut. "You've got to be kidding me." She mumbled under her breath. Kensi and Deeks held each other's gaze for a few moments before Kensi sighed and slammed the door to her bedroom.

Deeks let out a shaky breath, this is not how he imagined the reunion between him and his partner would go down. He curled up on the uncomfortable couch and closed his eyes. It took awhile but finally sleep overcame him.

In the other room, Kensi was a mess. She was exhausted, but she was also livid. Who did Deeks think he was? Barging into her apartment, refusing to leave. Couldn't he just understand she wanted to be alone. The past four months have been hell, she's seen innocent people die, ones who had families to go back home to. But somehow she made, of course she had the team and her mom, but there were kids who were five, eight, fourteen getting told their parent wasn't coming home. Kensi laid down, but the moment she closed her eyes, all she could see was blood from others, and feel the adreliene from running for your life. These last four months, she has probably gotten four hours of sleep each night, which isn't much considering the long days. Throughout those months the only thing that kept her going was Deeks, but towards the end she was close to giving up. Was it all really worth it? Obviously Kensi knew it was, but deep down she had second thoughts. Her mind was still running when she eventually drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

Deeks woke up in the middle of the night. Unsure of why he woke up, he ran a hand over his face and checked the time on his phone, it was only 3 am.

"No, no, no, no, no..." Deeks heard a whimper from Kensi's bedroom. He stood up and stretched, he was way to tall for the couch. Then a quiet shriek came from the neighboring room. Deeks quickly made his was to the bedroom door, he tapped lightly calling her name, "Kensi?" There was no response. Deeks slowly opened the door to find Kensi thrashing around in the sheets, sweating.

Deeks dropped to his knees on the side of the bed, up close he could see the tears streaming down her face. "Deeks.. Deeks... Deeks.." Kensi whimpered. "Shh I'm right here Kens, come on wake up." Deeks ran a hand through her hair, she moved away from him. Deeks' other hand laced it's self with her's. "Kensi." Deeks called for her over and over again.

She shot up, her breath was heavy, her head looked around the room and then they landed on Deeks. "Hey..hey you're okay. I got you." Kensi's eyes welled up with tears. Deeks pulled her into a tight hug, she gripped his shirt like it was a lifeline, Kensi's quiet sobs filled the room. Deeks laid down on the bed, bringing the brunette with him. He continued to draw patterns on her arms and whispering sweet things into hairline.

Her cries finally stopped, her breathing had evened out, Deeks felt relief. They hadn't talked yet, but she opened up to him, Kensi allowed him to see her in her weakest place. He was just thankful that she finally went back to sleep.

* * *

Kensi woke up the next morning reaching for the right side of the bed, her breathing picked up realizing he wasn't there. How could she be so stupid? Let herself break right in front of him? She threw her head back on the pillow, tears stinging at the corners of her eyes.

"Hey you're up."

Kensi jumped at the voice thinking she was alone.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you.." Deeks said softly walking next to the bed handing Kensi a warm cup of coffee. Kensi was stuck in trance, Deeks scrunched up his face taking a sit on the corner of the bed. "You alright?" Instead of answering, Kensi set her cup down on the night stand, then tooks Deeks' cup and did the same. She crawled up to him on her knees and took her face in her hands and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

Deeks smiled as she pulled away, "What was that for?'

"For staying, for being patient with me." Kensi said, a smile curving at the sides of her lips.

"Of course, I missed you Fern." He admitted, running his fingers over her cheek.

She pulled him back in for another kiss, they had four months to make up for. Deeks laid back pulling Kensi on top of him. "I missed you too." She mummered against his lips.

_"Love is not love which alters, when an alteration finds. When life gets hard, when things change..true love remains the same." - William Shakespeare's Sonnet 116_

* * *

**A little different reunion than the ones being written right now. Hope you enjoy! Please Review (: Love you all!**


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